So by now you probably know that being a parent means that much of your time is consumed by focusing on your little one’s needs (and cuddles and bonding time). While as a mum you feel that your main priority is your children and their […]
Month: February 2018
Who said motherhood is natural, easy-going, wonderfully perfect? Oh wait, I already said in another post that it wasn’t! I forgot to mention though that if you are breastfeeding, chances are you are going to go through some not funny episodes with hormones. Yes, they […]
your mother here, I wanted to write you so you know how we feel. Sometimes it’s hard and stressful and you know I can’t lie, you can feel it too. You might feel in those moments sick worried and asking yourself “how to make your parents love you” after all the trouble somehow you might feel you’ve caused. So here’s some tips for you:
You are you, and that’s the way it is, and we love you for who you are.
I carried you nine months in my belly, and the first time I knew you were there I felt like if I was blessed with so much joy. I was in a bitter-sweet time up until the second scan where the doctors assured me everything was fine, that you were perfectly healthy. I tried to imagine you once you would be in this world, in my arms. It was almost impossible to know how would you look like, how would you behave, how would you be with me or with daddy. No way we could have guessed any of those, we were just there waiting for you, regardless of how would you look like, or how you would behave, or how would you be like. Therefore, we can’t expect you to be what you are not, what we only wanted from day one was of you to be safe and sound.
Carry on doing what you do
Every day you discover something new, and it seems like you can’t stop thinking of it. Sometimes you are doing the same thing over and over, never getting bored about it, and some of those things you do are very noisy, and boisterous. You keep moving around so much and so carefree, and me or daddy have to chase you around. We get tired, very tired, sometimes annoyed. There’re times we try to keep you from doing what you are doing for some reason or another that you won’t understand. But while I’ll sound contradicting, please continue doing so, continue exploring, continue learning, keep trying and trying. Don’t lose that excitement and joy you have in you. You are doing great, you are growing beautifully, and we’ll be there to make sure you are safe and happy in whatever you focus on.
If you need to cry, cry..
You don’t speak yet, you blabber and make funny noises, sometimes you screech or you scream, or laugh too loud. Then many other times you cry or scream, and it makes mama and Dada upset, which in return there will be days that unfortunately we won’t have much patience and be annoyed at your tears and screaming. But you know, don’t keep yourself from crying, if you need to please do so, because otherwise we won’t know what is troubling you.
Let us know you are upset, so we can cheer you up, let us know when you are hungry so we can feed you, let us know when you are tired so we can put you somewhere you can rest peacefully, let us know when you need your nappy changed so we can change you into a fresh clean one.
Also, very important, remember to let us know when you are in pain so we can soothe you, or when you are ill so we can take care of you, or when you are feeling lonely so we can hug you and reassure you we are always there for you.
So if you need to cry, cry… We care about you.
You are constantly looking for us, keeping an eye on what is mama or Dada doing, and many times you wouldn’t let go of our arms or legs. You would chase us everywhere we would go around the house, or even in the same room. I’m even sitting beside you and there you are grabbing my arm and trying to climb on me, like a desperate koala bear. If I disappear for a moment even for just a second you freak out and start screaming my name. There’s been multiple moments where you wouldn’t let go of me, not even for going to the toilet.
The other day you snapped at Dada because he was looking into his phone for so long and not paying attention to you. You shouted at me because I walked away from you to do other things, or when I left you in the care of other people like family or the nursery so I could go shopping and go for errands.
But you know, deep inside we want you to need us, to want us, because it makes us feel wanted and loved. It makes us realise that we are very important to you. And you know, you are the most important to us, even when we do all those things we do that make you think otherwise, after all we are your mama and Dada.
Here you go my little baby, my beloved child, you don’t need to do anything special for us. Being in our lives is more than a blessing or a gift, you made us better in many ways. Whatever you do we’ll always love you, because it’s what parents do: love their children no matter what.
With light and joy,
I want a silky cream like skin, super soft, who doesn’t? How about if I tell you that you can be a milk-healthy you, better yet, lactose free?? Meet my favourite organic creams brand: MooGoo. I have sensitive skin, my husband has very sensitive skin, […]
Whatever is the choice of a parent to breastfeed their baby or not, it’s important to remember that it’s about feeding a baby one way or another. I might be getting in troubled waters for some people, because while I’m not getting in the war […]
Nursing time is indeed a time of bonding, a moment that you share specially with your baby, only the two of you. But, sometimes you might feel like you could also be doing something else (mind you we all know feeding our baby is very important though!) and walking around with baby attached to your breast is discouraged! Here’s a few ideas of how to take advantage of the moment.
Note: all the ideas below have been tested by me and are based on my experience using the services and products mentioned. If you need more information about any please contact me or leave a message below and I’ll answer within 48 hours.
Learn a new language
Breastfeeding time is not only a quiet time to just nurse your baby it is also a time when you can do other things that doesn’t require two hands. It’s a time when you can study per example a new language! If you have a smart phone or an iPad (or similar) you have access to limitless sources of information, there’re many apps out there that can teach you any language you want at a touch of a button.
One of these apps is called Duolingo, it’s to my humble opinion to be the best so far, and the good news is it’s free! It’s user-friendly and you can learn at your pace, it’s available for Ios, Android and Windows Phone.
The design is simple and might be a bit childish but it looks very nice and neat. It works like if it was a game with a scoring system where you are rewarded with points which you use to unlock levels. Lessons are bite sized and I think they encourage you to do a daily lesson for 5 minutes. You have nothing to lose by trying it, it’s quite fun and many times I would be longer than the recommended five minutes!
With the power of internet we have courses to learn from at the reach of our hand. No more wasting time commuting and trying to find a reliable babysitter or friend or family member to take care of our children few evenings a week (unless you want to).
Massive Open Online Courses, also known as MOOCs, normally are very flexible and you can study at your own pace, some platforms like Alison even offer free courses!
Another one I’ve used also and it’s great is called Coursera, which offers courses from prestigious universities around the world. There’re many courses of all areas of study to satisfy your inner scientist, or maybe curious about social movements? The fee for each course are normally affordable and they provide also a certificate (for a small fee) after you pass the assessments and final exam.
And last but not least, Shawacademy.com is a user-friendly platform with an array of certified courses and Diplomas, they are still growing in terms of expanding their repertoire and popularity. Their Diplomas, normally an EQF level 5 (in the UK) are regulated by the European Qualifications Framework. The lessons are normally live on two set evenings during week days, but you can view the video of the lesson anytime from the day after it was recorded. The advantage of going live is that you can ask questions to the teacher on that lesson. I’ve done one Diploma and enrolled in another one, so far I can say I’m happy and I’ve learned a lot from each course.
Make a puzzle/jigsaw
If you enjoy making puzzles then it could be a great moment to make one, as you don’t need both hands. It’s a quiet and calming pastime and hobby. Just make sure to not to get too focused only on the puzzle and to check baby often (leaks, possets, etc).
There’re many sizes and styles of puzzles that I cannot recommend any shop in particular, though they sell many on Amazon or just search on the internet for ones with free delivery.
I particularly like those that are whimsical and fantasy, and I like framing them once I’ve finished them so I can put them up for decoration. They were pretty much a common Christmas gift when I was a child and once I ended up with three in the same holiday!
Write a diary
Even though we’ll never forget our first sight of baby on the scan, the first time you met and how beautiful and how light yet so precious she was. We’ll remember many things but not all things, and it could be a great idea to write down few things that happened every day.
I know, writing with one hand could be a bit hard and uncomfortable. Fret not! Remember your smartphone or iPad? It could already have an app installed that could lend you a hand (no pun intended) by converting voice into text! You’ll just have to press a button and say anything or dictate near the microphone and the app with write down what you say.
IPhone has already this option integrated to it, I’m not sure on Android phones but if you text “voice to text app” into google search you’ll find many websites talking about them.
There’s plenty more things you could do that won’t interrupt much your breastfeeding session, like I would sometimes trim my baby’s nails, he won’t let me do them if he’s not distracted enough! So I bought an Electric Nail file (I’m scared to clip my baby’s skin or finger by accident as he moves too much!) which is not expensive and it’s worth the money. I would file his nails when I’m feeding him and he just stares but lets me do it.
I’ve heard other mothers meditate too as it’s a quiet and peaceful time for them, I don’t dare doing that as many times in the past I’ve attempted meditation and failed, I would just fall asleep and even snore!
If you have any ideas or you want to share what you do while you breastfeed please comment below!
With light and joy,